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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690881">to heal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearegoingtodie/pseuds/wearegoingtodie'>wearegoingtodie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>mikan getting what she deserves: love [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Super Dangan Ronpa 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>a work longer than 1000 words!, anxiety n stuff, i love her okay, i mean its mikan, others are mentioned - Freeform, references to past abuse, so yeah mikan centric, this is just a healing fic for mikan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:36:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690881</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearegoingtodie/pseuds/wearegoingtodie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>i have a lot of feelings abt mikan actually getting to overcome boundaries and heal from her trauma in healthy ways that allow her to grow and develop as a character healthily,,,,</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>mikan getting what she deserves: love [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to heal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mikan Tsumiki was a nervous person. A good amount could be attributed to trauma that caused her to be cautious and fearful for her wellbeing constantly and another portion could be attributed to her natural paranoia against the world (although the good majority was certainly from the bullying and then abuse she went through from her classmates and family). One way or another, Mikan was a nervous, fearful, bad-at-coping mess of a person, but she resolved to become more confident or at least less fearful. Her classmates-her friends-had assured her time after time since they’d escaped (woken up from?) the Neo World Program, that she wasn’t worthless and they, at the very least, didn’t hate her. Regardless of whether she fully believed them or not (she didn’t), Mikan resolved that it would be best if she began taking small steps towards her healing. Towards becoming better. Towards feeling better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Although Mikan was fully set on her goal to slowly overcome the restrictions her trauma chained her by, it was obviously easier said than done. Her first goal was to request something for herself, and not someone else. She was going to ask Teruteru to make her food. The food was nothing special-a few sticks of hanami dango. A sweet. A common food! But it was nonetheless one she had been craving recently, and although Mikan knew it was simple to make, she thought...it was an easy and good place to start. She had planned the entire thing beforehand, making sure she’d have enough time to ask Teruteru and enough time if she had to apologize for wasting his time.</p>
<p>She wiped her hands on her nurse’s apron, trying to steady her shaky breath. She stepped forward into the kitchen, already spotting her target. Mikan’s breath hitched again and she could physically feel her heart begin to beat violently. She took another step forward. </p>
<p>“Te-Teruteru...” her voice was weak and she almost wanted to cringe listening to it, but she tried to continue anyway. “I, um, I wante-wanted to make a req...request!” She squeaked the last word out, shutting her eyes tightly and clenching her fists in preparation for an outburst.</p>
<p>“Of course Miss. Mikan! That ~is~ my job as the ultimate chef!” Teruteru’s almost flirtatious tone rung out and Mikan could almost cry in relief (she might have let out a tear.) It wasn’t a rejection! It was a yes!</p>
<p>“I-I’m s-sorry if this is to-too low of a dish f-for even your own cali-caliber b-but I...Iwouldlikeahanamidango!!” her words once again blurred and her voice raised in pitch as she forced herself  to say her request without a panic attack interrupting her speech. Teruteru’s bright grin greeted her watery eyes.</p>
<p>“I’ll be done in fifty-minutes!” She let out a quick and breathy ‘thanks’ and immediately ran out of the kitchen, her hands sweaty, her cheeks wet with tears, and a small smile on her face.</p>
<p>It wasn’t easy to ask, even for such a small and dumb request, but she was glad she did. Mikan was glad she was able to make steps forward, no matter how tiny or big they were.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mikan’s job was to nurse people. To help the physically hurt. To heal others. It was a job she was proud of and thought she was good at, but it was also a job she wasn’t able to do without constant apologizing. She wanted to be able to do what she was proud to do without trying to salvage the feelings of her patient. A few apologies here and there for things like needles, ripping off bandages, and applying antiseptic were allowed. It was only polite then. But, her goal was to treat someone, ANYONE, without overbearing apologies.</p>
<p>The opportunity arose when Peko and Akane had come around after Akane had attempted to use one of Peko’s non-bamboo swords and has given herself a cut on the thigh. Mikan was more than happy to help and had quickly rushed off to get what she needed.</p>
<p>She kneeled in front of a sitting Akane. The wound wasn’t as deep as the blood might fool you to be-it was probably something that could have two bandaids stuck on to call it a day. But because Mikan was a medical professional, she was going to clean it. She cleaned away the blood using water and a towel, using the latter as gently as she could around the cut.</p>
<p>“T-this m-might hurt a bi-bit...” Akane nodded with a determined expression and Mikan steadied herself. She applied the rubbing alcohol onto the wound using a cotton swab and had to repress the urge to cry and apologize when Akane winced. Mikan quickly applied an adhesive bandage to the cut and gave the two girls a few words of safety advice regarding wound care. The two smiled at her and as Akane left, Peko turned to Mikan.</p>
<p>“You’re becoming more confident,” Peko said, her face set in an odd mix of what appeared to be shock and contentment. “It suits you, Tsumiki.” The swordswoman smiled softly and turned around. Peko quietly shut the door to Mikan’s cottage and her footsteps follow Akane’s soon after.</p>
<p>Mikan felt so euphoric that she was finally doing what she wanted and being acknowledged for it that she wanted to scream. She was changing, for the better! She was changing...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next and last of her goals was easily both the hardest and most difficult to explain away. Mikan trusted the others, she really did-she found people like Hajime and Kazuichi and Peko reliable and people like Teruteru and Twogami and Ibuki sociable, so it wasn’t as if she mistrusted them or anything like that. But her final goal involved showing someone she truly, deeply trusted one of her scars; one of the multiple cigarette burn scars that littered her arms and legs and even stomach in odd places. It would take everything from her to unwrap one of her bandages and feel safe, but she’d thus far been able to complete her goals and wasn’t going to give up now.</p>
<p>Mikan trusted few people enough to show them scars. There were maybe four people she was willing to show them too, and others had been eliminated for various reasons. Hiyoko was an immediate no; as much as she had certainly changed and was far kinder now that was she was processing and coping with her own past trauma, Mikan still felt scared of the girl who’d relentlessly bullied her in the Neo World Program, and Mikan was sure Hiyoko wanted nothing to do with her either. In a similar vein, by association, Mahiru was eliminated because she and Hiyoko were always together and would ask to be together even for something so intimate. Nekomaru still scared Mikan with his loud, almost brutish disposition, and Teruteru (despite his good traits) was perverted and would likely take the situation the “wrong way”. While she didnt hate Nagito, he’d likely cope with the situation how he usually did: self deprecation and jokes, and while Mikan respected his ability to brush things off before they got to him, she’d need some one who could handle her trauma for a brief moment and she wasn’t willing to put that pressure on the white haired boy. Kazuichi was a reliable person when you needed something fixed or a good joke-he was a great person to be around, generally, but he’d probably freak out or get anxious for her, which again, wasn’t something she wanted to put him through. Gundham was a different situation altogether, and she knew he had the capability to handle the delicacies of the situation, he would also likely cope by overcompensating with his dark persona...which usually wouldn’t be a problem, but she was de-qualifying others due to the same underlying cause and it would be hypocritical of her to use him just because he was “manageable” (and rude nonetheless). Fuyuhiko was a changed man, she couldn’t deny that-he was much more forgiving and quick to understand others now, and she felt genuinely proud of the small boy for how much progress he’d made on handling his anger issues, with which Peko had been helping immensely. On the other hand, because of his own recovery, she didn’t want to ruin it by triggering an episode which something traumatic-</p>
<p>...Essentially, the picture was that most people were not an option for Mikan to talk to. For this express purpose, she had decided that the person she was probably the least close with was going to be the one to see them. By this, of course, she meant Ibuki Mioda. The two girls weren’t close because Ibuki harbored a hatred for Mikan-quite the opposite, actually. Mikan had distanced herself from the two victims of her despair-induced murder show out of respect for their boundaries and guilt from her filthy actions. Ibuki, bless the girl’s heart, had tried her best to reconnect with Mikan, but the nurse had just denied every advance up until that point. </p>
<p>So Mikan had decided the best option was Ibuki Mioda. Despite the girl’s general loudness and ‘upbeat’ personality, Mikan knew for a fact the girl was incredible at understanding and processing emotions, on top of being far smarter than she was usually given credit for. So in a moment full of adrenaline at finally having decided, Mikan had walked the (short) distance to Ibuki’s cottage and knocked on the door strongly before she could hesitate and think her decision over. She heard shuffling from the inside, then a click and Ibuki’s hair horns and bangs were in view. Ibuki blinked up at the nurse before giving her a wide grin that looked like it stretched her lip piercings.</p>
<p>“Mikan!! Ibuki is so glad you came to see her!! Come in!” Ibuki stepped out of the way of the door and Mikan forced out a thank you in a stifled and anxious-sounding voice before walking into the cottage. It looked the same as Mikan’s own, although there was a guitar on Ibuki’s bed and clothes all over the floor. “Soooo, why did Mikan come over…?” Ibuki’s voice, while still bright-sounding, was less loud and her gaze had softened while looking at the nurse (although whether from concern or curiosity, it was unclear). </p>
<p>“U-um...I...c-can I trust y-you…?” Ibuki’s eyes widened and then her eyebrows furrowed. She started biting on one of her piercings.</p>
<p>“Is this a secret?” Ibuki stage whispered to Mikan, which left the purple-haired girl giggling. Ibuki seemed visibly more comfortable with the slightly less tense atmosphere and Mikan took a deep breath in preparation.</p>
<p>“Y-yes...I...I trust you s-so I think I c-can show you some-something re-really important…” Ibuki nodded, sitting on her bed while Mikan stood a little awkwardly nearby. Her now-sweaty and somehow cold hands grasped at the ends of her bandages, and she began to unwrap the three layers that covered her secrets, her past, and her fears. Ibuki watched on with a slightly concerned expression as Mikan slowly took the bandages off. The musician let out an audible gasp when Mikan’s pale arm was finally revealed. Scars everywhere from cigarette burns to jagged and painful-looking cuts to words were engraved into the nurse’s arm. Ibuki stood up, and gently touched Mikan’s arm, her hands brushing over long-since-healed wounds. Mikan’s eyes were teary and her body was trembling, but she had never felt so safe with someone.</p>
<p>“Mikan...I’m happy you were able to show me these…” Ibuki’s voice was soft and kind and her words felt like a blanket around Mikan. Ibuki’s arms wrapped around Mikan’s collapsing frame, and they stood there together for a moment. Healing. Safety. Love. Healing…</p>
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